What NOT to say when he tells you he loves you:
Paul Varjak: Holly, I'm in love with you.
Holly Golightly: So what?
Paul Varjak: So what? So plenty! I love you. You belong to me.
Holly Golightly: No. People don't belong to people.
Paul Varjak: Of course they do.
Holly Golightly: I'm not going to let anyone put me in a cage.
Paul Varjak: I don't want to put you in a cage. I want to love you.
Holly Golightly: It's the same thing.
Paul Varjak: No it's not
Harry Burns: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally Albright: What?
What to say to her dad:
Linus Larrabee: Go ahead, say it.
Fairchild: You don't deserve her.
Linus Larrabee: I don't, I know that; but I need her, and I don't need anything.
Amusing quotes:
Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
Sally Albright: I don't see that.
Harry Burns: You don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. "On the side" is a very big thing for you.
Sally Albright: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry Burns: I know; high maintenance.
Kathleen Kelly: "Joe"? "Just call me Joe"? As if you were one of those stupid 22-year old girls with no last name? "Hi, I'm Kimberly!" "Hi, I'm Janice!" Don't they know you're supposed to have a last name? It's like they're an entire generation of cocktail waitresses.
Joe Fox: The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.
Dennis Reed: Annie, when you're attracted to someone, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match.
Anne Shirley: Why do people have to grow up and marry, change?
Gilbert Blythe: Oh, you'd change. If someone ever admitted that they were head over heels for you, you'd be swept off your feet in a moment.
Anne Shirley: I would not, and I defy anyone who would try and make me change.
Gilbert Blythe: Oh, you do?
Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.
Quotes that make you go awww:
Joe Fox: Kevin, this is possibly the most adorable creature I've ever been in contact with, and if she turns out to be as good looking as a mailbox... I would be crazy enough to turn my life upside down and marry her.
Marilla Cuthbert: Anne, you have tricked something out of that imagination of yours that you call romance. Have you forgotten how he gave up the Avonlea school for you so that you could stay here with me? He picked you up every day in his carriage so that you could study your courses together. Don't toss it away for some ridiculous ideal that doesn't exist.
Terry McKay: And all I could say was, hello.
Annie Reed: Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was...
Becky: A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: Tell me what was so special about your wife?
Sam Baldwin: Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.
Harry Burns: The first time we met, we hated each other.
Sally Albright: No, you didn't hate me, I hated you. The second time we met, you didn't even remember me.
Harry Burns: I did too, I remembered you. The third time we met, we became friends.
Sally Albright: We were friends for a long time.
Harry Burns: And then we weren't.
Sally Albright: And then we fell in love.
Misc:
Kathleen Kelly: When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Movie Quotes, Part 1
Add your own favorites in the comments!
Sweet things to say to girls:
I've been following in footsteps all my life. Save me, Sabrina fair, you're the only one who can.
Iris, if you were a melody... I used only the good notes.
Steve: Why you only eating the brown ones?
Mary: Because someone once said they have less artificial colouring because chocolate's already brown. And it kind of stayed with me.
Steve: You kind of stayed with me.
Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close... your... eyes. You're safe. You can relax. I'm not going to kiss you. He's gonna be so sorry he lost you, so stop worrying. Forget the past. Forget the pain. And remember what an incredible woman you are. You do that and he'll realize what he lost.
I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And I think I'd miss you even if we never met.
Joe Fox: You know, sometimes I wonder...
Kathleen Kelly: What?
Joe Fox: Well... if I hadn't been Fox Books and you hadn't been The Shop Around the Corner, and you and I had just, well, met...
Kathleen Kelly: I know.
Joe Fox: Yeah. I would have asked for your number, and I wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you and saying, "Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?"
Kathleen Kelly: Joe...
Joe Fox: And you and I would have never been at war. And the only thing we'd fight about would be which video to rent on a Saturday night.
Kathleen Kelly: Well, who fights about that?
Joe Fox: Well, some people. Not us.
Kathleen Kelly: We would never.
Mr. Darcy: How are you this evening, my dear?
Elizabeth Bennet: Very well... although I wish you would not call me my dear.
Mr. Darcy: Why?
Elizabeth Bennet: Because it's what my father always calls my mother when he's cross about something.
Mr. Darcy: What endearments am I allowed?
Elizabeth Bennet: Well let me think...Lizzy for every day, My Pearl for Sundays, and...Goddess Divine... but only on very special occasions.
Mr. Darcy: And... what should I call you when I am cross? Mrs. Darcy...?
Elizabeth Bennet: No! No. You may only call me Mrs. Darcy... when you are completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy.
Mr. Darcy: Then how are you this evening... Mrs. Darcy?
How to tell her you love her:
I have another scenario for you - I'm in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I'm in love... with YOU. I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way... which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. I can't believe how many times I'm saying it! And I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. And I realize that I come as a package deal: 3 for the price of 1. I know my package, perhaps in the light of day, isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want and that, in itself, is a miracle. And what I want is YOU.
I barely know you. I don't know your dad's first name, I don't know if you ever wore braces, or contacts, or glasses and I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary. But I do know the curves of your face. And I know every fleck of gold in your eyes. I know that the night at the park was the best time I've ever had.
Queen Victoria: Why did you do it? So stupid, why did you do it?
Prince Albert: I had two very good reasons. First, I am replaceable and you are not.
Queen Victoria: You are not replaceable to me!
Prince Albert: Second, you're the only wife I've got or ever will have. You are my whole existence, and I will love you until my very last breath.
Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Mr. Darcy: You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.
Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.
Elizabeth Bennet: I don't understand.
Mr. Darcy: I love you.
Captain Wentworth: I have loved none but you. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone I think and plan. Have you not seen this?
Captain Wentworth: Miss Elliot, I can bear this no longer. You pierce my soul. I'm half agony, half hope. Unjust I may have been. Weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it eight years ago.
Edmund Bertram: Fanny, I've loved you my whole life. Fanny Price: I know, Edmund. Edmund Bertram: No... I've loved you as a man loves a woman. As a hero loves a heroine. As I have never loved anyone.
Anne Shirley: You just think that you love me.
Gilbert Blythe: Anne, I've loved you as long as I can remember. I need you.
Gilbert Blythe: Anne, There's not going to be any wedding anymore.
Anne Shirley: You're gonna get well, Gil. I know you are.
Gilbert Blythe: I called it off. It wouldn't be fair to Christine. There would never be anyone for me but you.
Charlie: Listen. Listen to me very carefully. I live in London, a gorgeous, vibrant, historic city that I happen to love living in. You live in New York, which is highly overrated... But since the Atlantic Ocean is a bit wide to cross every day, swimming, boating or flying, I suggest we flip for it... And if those terms are unacceptable, leaving London will be a pleasure, as long as you're waiting for me on the other side. 'Cause the truth is, I am Madly, Deeply, Truly, Passionately in Love with You.
How to propose to a woman who is proposing to you:
Queen Victoria: I'm so pleased you like it. I do want you to feel quite at home... I'm sure you're aware why I wished you to come here. Because it would make me happier than anything, too happy really, if you would agree to what I wish.
Prince Albert: And stay with you?
Queen Victoria: And stay with me.
Prince Albert: And marry you?
Queen Victoria: And marry me!
David Larrabee: God, you're easy on me.
Elizabeth Tyson, MD: Okay then, why don't you marry me?
David Larrabee: Okay, why don't I?
Elizabeth Tyson, MD: Don't kid about stuff like that.
David Larrabee: Okay. Why don't I?
Elizabeth Tyson, MD: You sure you know what it is?
David Larrabee: Yeah, that thing where you hang together a lot and sleep in the same room and button each other's hard-to-reach buttons...
Elizabeth Tyson, MD: Then I accept.
Declan: Mrs. O'Brady Callhan. Where the hell are you going?
Anna: You said no.
Declan: I didn't say no. I didn't say anything.
Anna: You walked away.
Declan: I was getting something.
Anna: Really? That was a good time to go get something?
Declan: Yeah, it was actually. I don't want not to make plans with you. I want to make plans with you.
Anna: You do?
Declan: Yeah I do.
Scoundrel quotes:
Marion: You're not the man I knew ten years ago.
Indiana: It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage.
Princess Leia: Let go, please.
Han Solo: Don't get excited.
Princess Leia: Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.
Han Solo: Sorry sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else.
How to apologize:
Mr. Bingley: First, I must tell you I've been the most unmitigated and comprehensive ass.
Terry McKay: Oh, it's nobody's fault but my own! I was looking up... it was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there...
Couple Cuteness:
Princess Leia: I love you.
Han Solo: I know.
Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: I thought I had wandered into a dream.
Arwen: Long years have passed. You did not have the cares you carry now. Do you remember what I told you?
Aragorn: You said you'd bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people.
Arwen: And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone. I choose a mortal life.
Aragorn: You cannot give me this.
Arwen: It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart.
Gilbert Blythe: It'll be three years before I finish medical school. Even then there won't be any diamond sunbursts or marble halls.
Anne Shirley: I don't want diamond sunbursts, or marble halls. I just want you.
What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?
So I can kiss you anytime I want.
How to tell your guy you love him (or tell your friends you love the guy):
Little Mary: George Bailey, I'll love you 'til the day I die.
Elizabeth Bennet: Perhaps I didn't always love him as well as I do now, but in such cases as these a good memory is unpardonable.
Sweet things to say to girls:
I've been following in footsteps all my life. Save me, Sabrina fair, you're the only one who can.
Iris, if you were a melody... I used only the good notes.
Steve: Why you only eating the brown ones?
Mary: Because someone once said they have less artificial colouring because chocolate's already brown. And it kind of stayed with me.
Steve: You kind of stayed with me.
Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close... your... eyes. You're safe. You can relax. I'm not going to kiss you. He's gonna be so sorry he lost you, so stop worrying. Forget the past. Forget the pain. And remember what an incredible woman you are. You do that and he'll realize what he lost.
I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And I think I'd miss you even if we never met.
Joe Fox: You know, sometimes I wonder...
Kathleen Kelly: What?
Joe Fox: Well... if I hadn't been Fox Books and you hadn't been The Shop Around the Corner, and you and I had just, well, met...
Kathleen Kelly: I know.
Joe Fox: Yeah. I would have asked for your number, and I wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you and saying, "Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?"
Kathleen Kelly: Joe...
Joe Fox: And you and I would have never been at war. And the only thing we'd fight about would be which video to rent on a Saturday night.
Kathleen Kelly: Well, who fights about that?
Joe Fox: Well, some people. Not us.
Kathleen Kelly: We would never.
Mr. Darcy: How are you this evening, my dear?
Elizabeth Bennet: Very well... although I wish you would not call me my dear.
Mr. Darcy: Why?
Elizabeth Bennet: Because it's what my father always calls my mother when he's cross about something.
Mr. Darcy: What endearments am I allowed?
Elizabeth Bennet: Well let me think...Lizzy for every day, My Pearl for Sundays, and...Goddess Divine... but only on very special occasions.
Mr. Darcy: And... what should I call you when I am cross? Mrs. Darcy...?
Elizabeth Bennet: No! No. You may only call me Mrs. Darcy... when you are completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy.
Mr. Darcy: Then how are you this evening... Mrs. Darcy?
How to tell her you love her:
I have another scenario for you - I'm in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I'm in love... with YOU. I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way... which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. I can't believe how many times I'm saying it! And I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. And I realize that I come as a package deal: 3 for the price of 1. I know my package, perhaps in the light of day, isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want and that, in itself, is a miracle. And what I want is YOU.
I barely know you. I don't know your dad's first name, I don't know if you ever wore braces, or contacts, or glasses and I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary. But I do know the curves of your face. And I know every fleck of gold in your eyes. I know that the night at the park was the best time I've ever had.
Queen Victoria: Why did you do it? So stupid, why did you do it?
Prince Albert: I had two very good reasons. First, I am replaceable and you are not.
Queen Victoria: You are not replaceable to me!
Prince Albert: Second, you're the only wife I've got or ever will have. You are my whole existence, and I will love you until my very last breath.
Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Mr. Darcy: You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.
Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.
Elizabeth Bennet: I don't understand.
Mr. Darcy: I love you.
Captain Wentworth: I have loved none but you. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone I think and plan. Have you not seen this?
Captain Wentworth: Miss Elliot, I can bear this no longer. You pierce my soul. I'm half agony, half hope. Unjust I may have been. Weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it eight years ago.
Edmund Bertram: Fanny, I've loved you my whole life. Fanny Price: I know, Edmund. Edmund Bertram: No... I've loved you as a man loves a woman. As a hero loves a heroine. As I have never loved anyone.
Anne Shirley: You just think that you love me.
Gilbert Blythe: Anne, I've loved you as long as I can remember. I need you.
Gilbert Blythe: Anne, There's not going to be any wedding anymore.
Anne Shirley: You're gonna get well, Gil. I know you are.
Gilbert Blythe: I called it off. It wouldn't be fair to Christine. There would never be anyone for me but you.
Charlie: Listen. Listen to me very carefully. I live in London, a gorgeous, vibrant, historic city that I happen to love living in. You live in New York, which is highly overrated... But since the Atlantic Ocean is a bit wide to cross every day, swimming, boating or flying, I suggest we flip for it... And if those terms are unacceptable, leaving London will be a pleasure, as long as you're waiting for me on the other side. 'Cause the truth is, I am Madly, Deeply, Truly, Passionately in Love with You.
How to propose to a woman who is proposing to you:
Queen Victoria: I'm so pleased you like it. I do want you to feel quite at home... I'm sure you're aware why I wished you to come here. Because it would make me happier than anything, too happy really, if you would agree to what I wish.
Prince Albert: And stay with you?
Queen Victoria: And stay with me.
Prince Albert: And marry you?
Queen Victoria: And marry me!
David Larrabee: God, you're easy on me.
Elizabeth Tyson, MD: Okay then, why don't you marry me?
David Larrabee: Okay, why don't I?
Elizabeth Tyson, MD: Don't kid about stuff like that.
David Larrabee: Okay. Why don't I?
Elizabeth Tyson, MD: You sure you know what it is?
David Larrabee: Yeah, that thing where you hang together a lot and sleep in the same room and button each other's hard-to-reach buttons...
Elizabeth Tyson, MD: Then I accept.
Declan: Mrs. O'Brady Callhan. Where the hell are you going?
Anna: You said no.
Declan: I didn't say no. I didn't say anything.
Anna: You walked away.
Declan: I was getting something.
Anna: Really? That was a good time to go get something?
Declan: Yeah, it was actually. I don't want not to make plans with you. I want to make plans with you.
Anna: You do?
Declan: Yeah I do.
Scoundrel quotes:
Marion: You're not the man I knew ten years ago.
Indiana: It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage.
Princess Leia: Let go, please.
Han Solo: Don't get excited.
Princess Leia: Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.
Han Solo: Sorry sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else.
How to apologize:
Mr. Bingley: First, I must tell you I've been the most unmitigated and comprehensive ass.
Terry McKay: Oh, it's nobody's fault but my own! I was looking up... it was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there...
Couple Cuteness:
Princess Leia: I love you.
Han Solo: I know.
Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: I thought I had wandered into a dream.
Arwen: Long years have passed. You did not have the cares you carry now. Do you remember what I told you?
Aragorn: You said you'd bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people.
Arwen: And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone. I choose a mortal life.
Aragorn: You cannot give me this.
Arwen: It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart.
Gilbert Blythe: It'll be three years before I finish medical school. Even then there won't be any diamond sunbursts or marble halls.
Anne Shirley: I don't want diamond sunbursts, or marble halls. I just want you.
What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?
So I can kiss you anytime I want.
How to tell your guy you love him (or tell your friends you love the guy):
Little Mary: George Bailey, I'll love you 'til the day I die.
Elizabeth Bennet: Perhaps I didn't always love him as well as I do now, but in such cases as these a good memory is unpardonable.
Friday, January 18, 2013
A Letter to New Moms
Congratulations on the birth of your sweet baby!
I want to share the story of my son Aedan's birth two years ago.
My mom has 3 children, all born by c-section. Her doctor told her in 1983 that she would have died trying to give birth to my brother. Even though she has never had the experience of going into labor and pushing her babies into the world, she is so thankful to have us. Because of Mom's experience, I wanted so much to have my baby naturally. I worked with midwives at my doctor's office, read every book in the library on the subject, and explained my birth plan to Jeremy and my mom in great detail. Aedan was due September 23, but the day came and went and at my next appointment they planned to induce. I went to RMH the evening of Sept 29th and was induced the following morning.
Fast forward to Friday, October 1st. Enduring painful contractions with very little progress had left me exhausted. I was barely 5 cm that morning. Around lunchtime I finally agreed to an epidural so that I could rest and hopefully make more progress. When I woke up I was at 5 1/2, but the contractions were pushing my baby's head against my pelvis and they were monitoring him closely for signs of distress. As much as I wanted to keep trying, my body was exhausted. An hour later: no progress. My midwife called in the OB and we decided to go ahead with a c-section. By that point, I just wanted to hold my baby. At 5:04 that afternoon when I heard him cry I was nearly in tears myself.
While his birth was nothing like I had hoped--and I'm still quite sensitive when natural-birth moms share their stories as if it's the only "normal" way--I've come to realize that how I bring my children into the world does not define me as a woman or a mother. While I hope you know this as well, I felt I needed to share. I struggled this summer while pregnant with my daughter--do I try a VBAC? Statistically, it didn't look encouraging. Because of the circumstances of my c-section, my odds of a successful VBAC were low...and dependent on my body going into labor on it's own. We ended up deciding to have Mara by scheduled c-section. Having her was more important to me than how at this point (this was a much more difficult pregnancy). She was born the morning of November 27th, a whopping 8 lbs 11 oz! (Aedan was 6 lbs, 7 oz). All 5 of my mom's living grandchildren were born by c-section. All are practically perfect.
I don't know the circumstances of your baby's birth, but I can understand a little of what your heart is feeling. Know that (if you struggled in labor or had a c-section) you are not a failure as a woman. For your sake I hope that you will eventually experience bringing a baby into the world the way it was "meant" to be done. I recognize I will never have this experience for myself. Regardless, we as moms can continue to be thankful for the technology that allows us to hold our precious darlings in our arms regardless of our ability to bring them here--or their ability to GET here. I wish I knew why some women seem to be unable to birth naturally. If I thought it would matter to me when I reach heaven I'd make a note to ask God. But as I hold my brand new daughter in my arms I know...the only thing that matters is that she's here, she is a gift from God, and the how doesn't really matter.
Love,
Kristin
I want to share the story of my son Aedan's birth two years ago.
My mom has 3 children, all born by c-section. Her doctor told her in 1983 that she would have died trying to give birth to my brother. Even though she has never had the experience of going into labor and pushing her babies into the world, she is so thankful to have us. Because of Mom's experience, I wanted so much to have my baby naturally. I worked with midwives at my doctor's office, read every book in the library on the subject, and explained my birth plan to Jeremy and my mom in great detail. Aedan was due September 23, but the day came and went and at my next appointment they planned to induce. I went to RMH the evening of Sept 29th and was induced the following morning.
Fast forward to Friday, October 1st. Enduring painful contractions with very little progress had left me exhausted. I was barely 5 cm that morning. Around lunchtime I finally agreed to an epidural so that I could rest and hopefully make more progress. When I woke up I was at 5 1/2, but the contractions were pushing my baby's head against my pelvis and they were monitoring him closely for signs of distress. As much as I wanted to keep trying, my body was exhausted. An hour later: no progress. My midwife called in the OB and we decided to go ahead with a c-section. By that point, I just wanted to hold my baby. At 5:04 that afternoon when I heard him cry I was nearly in tears myself.
While his birth was nothing like I had hoped--and I'm still quite sensitive when natural-birth moms share their stories as if it's the only "normal" way--I've come to realize that how I bring my children into the world does not define me as a woman or a mother. While I hope you know this as well, I felt I needed to share. I struggled this summer while pregnant with my daughter--do I try a VBAC? Statistically, it didn't look encouraging. Because of the circumstances of my c-section, my odds of a successful VBAC were low...and dependent on my body going into labor on it's own. We ended up deciding to have Mara by scheduled c-section. Having her was more important to me than how at this point (this was a much more difficult pregnancy). She was born the morning of November 27th, a whopping 8 lbs 11 oz! (Aedan was 6 lbs, 7 oz). All 5 of my mom's living grandchildren were born by c-section. All are practically perfect.
I don't know the circumstances of your baby's birth, but I can understand a little of what your heart is feeling. Know that (if you struggled in labor or had a c-section) you are not a failure as a woman. For your sake I hope that you will eventually experience bringing a baby into the world the way it was "meant" to be done. I recognize I will never have this experience for myself. Regardless, we as moms can continue to be thankful for the technology that allows us to hold our precious darlings in our arms regardless of our ability to bring them here--or their ability to GET here. I wish I knew why some women seem to be unable to birth naturally. If I thought it would matter to me when I reach heaven I'd make a note to ask God. But as I hold my brand new daughter in my arms I know...the only thing that matters is that she's here, she is a gift from God, and the how doesn't really matter.
Love,
Kristin
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