How to Be a Good Wedding Guest

I am constantly amazed at the number of people who simply don't know how to behave at weddings these days. I'm sure I have countless friends who--as brides, guests, ushers, pastors, and so forth--could tell a number of stories on guests. I know I would hate to be the guest that the bridal party remembers for years to come because of a faux pas (like Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie for there infamous hats), so I'm writing this blog to share some tips. Hopefully when you read this you'll be relieved since you already know and put into practice these, but in the rare case that you find out something--gasp!--You'll know better next time. Here's to being wedding guests that future brides, grooms, ushers, and wedding coordinators will love to have on the special day! :)

Tip #1: Know what to wear. I've already covered this on a past blog, so check that one out if you have questions. Generally, think about location, time of day, and the formality of the invitation. It's always better to be over-dressed than not.

Tip #2: Always enter the church or ceremony location through the main entrance. Side entrances may or may not be locked, but just because it's unlocked doesn't mean you should use it. The main entrance will have the guest book, programs, and ushers to seat you. From an ushers perspective (thanks Josh & Jeremy Barb), guests who seat themselves and enter from other directions only mess things up for the small number of guys responsible for making sure everyone gets into the right spots. So enter through the main entrance and wait for an usher to show you where to sit.

Tip #3: Going along with #2, if a wedding begins at 4, do NOT show up AT 4 or AFTER 4. You won't be allowed to be seated and you'll only be in the way of the wedding party. Brides and coordinators will not love you for this. Plan ahead and arrive 10-20 minutes before. This will give you time to sign in and be seated before the ceremony begins. Arriving too early will leave you standing around as last minute details are being arranged and--often--pictures are wrapping up, so do not arrive more than 30 minutes ahead of time unless requested.

Tip #4: It's generally frowned at to take pictures from your seat during the ceremony. If you must, make sure the camera flash is off and your camera doesn't make a loud noise.

Tip #5: This is a favorite tip of brides everywhere. Do NOT bring uninvited guests with you. The invitation tells you who is invited and only those people may attend. If the invitation says Mr. and Mrs. Jeremy Barb & Aedan, I know that children are welcome. If the invitation does not include my child's name, I find a babysitter and enjoy! If you are not married your invitation may or may not include "and Guest". If it does, invite your girlfriend, boyfriend, or best friend to come along. If it doesn't, there is probably a space issue at either the ceremony location or the reception and your bringing a guest could leave him or her without a seat-or worse, take the seat of someone who WAS invited. So pay attention to that invitation!

From The Knot: "In one poll of Knot brides, nearly half said that at least one guest had responded for someone who wasn't invited." <--Why it's a big deal to follow Tip #5!!!

Tip #6: RSVP as soon as possible. The invitation usually has a date on it, but the sooner you RSVP the more time the bride has to get final things worked out with the caterer, etc. In addition, if you discover you need to cancel, let her know ASAP so that she has the opportunity to either scale down or invite someone else who she couldn't invite before.

Tip #7: This goes back to clothes, but I feel it must be reiterated because people JUST DON'T GET IT! While black is becoming more acceptable, especially at evening and/or formal weddings, WHITE IS STILL A NO-NO. I saw a lady at a wedding I was at recently wearing a cream skirt suit. She looked lovely, but I'm sure more guests than I were shaking our heads at her from behind our punch cups. DO-NOT-WEAR-WHITE-TO-A-WEDDING. Having white on your outfit is fine, be it stripes, polka dots, flowers, etc, but NOT SOLID WHITE. And white includes all shades of cream and ivory too. Just don't do it!!!

Tip #8: After the wedding, follow the directions of the officiant and/or coordinator and go to the reception area. For many couples, not all the pictures--if any--have been done ahead of time and the sooner the area empties the sooner they can get the pictures done and head over to the reception themselves. Stick around only if asked (unless an extended family picture is planned, usually only grandparents, parents, and siblings need to stay close). Wedding coordinators and photographers can get quickly irritated by others snapping pictures, getting in the way of the photographer, or having loud conversations while they are trying to get their jobs done and get the happy couple to their party.

Tip #9: More often than not, the gift table will be at the reception area. If possible, leave your gift in the car until the reception. It's less work for you and for the groomsmen or other friends who would be responsible for moving them all later anyway.

Tip #10: Keep an eye on your children, or get a babysitter. If children are welcome to attend, some couples provide some form of childcare during the reception, but during the ceremony they are expected to be under the supervision of their parents. Running, messing with decorations, loud crying or talking during the ceremony...These are all reasons why many brides shudder at the thought of even inviting children. If you have children old enough to sit quietly for 30-45 minutes, keep their hands to themselves, and not try to serve themselves cake and food from the buffet line before invited to, no worries. If you're not sure...Play it safe and leave them at home. If you're from out of town, see if you can work out with other friends or family to find a neighbor or family friend who would be willing to watch a group of children during the wedding. Check with the bride or groom's parents about the possibility of having a room available during the ceremony for childcare if you provide the babysitter.

Your job as a wedding guest is to help celebrate the happy day. Do your best to always "do what you would have others do to you", and help make the day as special for the newlyweds as you can.

Have fun!

The Very Hungry Hobbit

The Very Hungry Hobbit
by Jeremy Barb, written by Kristin Barb
with Apologies to JRR Tolkien & Eric Carle

In a hole in the ground a little hobbit slept.
On Sunday morning the warm sun came up and out of the hole
came the little--and very hungry--
hobbit.

He started to look for some food.

On Monday he ate one apple cake.
But he was still hungry.

On Tuesday he ate two slices of bread with pear preserves, and one apple cake.
But he was still hungry.

On Wednesday he ate three plum puffs, two slices of bread with pear preserves, and one apple cake.
But he was still hungry.

On Thursday he ate four strawberry pies, three plum puffs, two slices of bread with pear preserves, and one apple cake.
But he was still hungry.

On Friday he ate five biscuits with orange marmalade, four strawberry pies, 3 plum puffs, 2 slices of bread with pear preserves, and 1 apple cake.
But he was still hungry.

On Saturday he ate one carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, one plate of eggs n' onions, one plate of nice crispy bacon, one wedge of cheese, one bowl of vegetable medley, one raspberry tart, 1 sausage, 1 jar of blackberry jam, one bowl of coney stew with taters, and one mushroom pie.

That night he had a stomachache!

The next day was Sunday again. The hobbit ate one nice hobbit-sized breakfast and after that he felt much better.

After that he didn't eat all his favorite foods at once. He spaced them out between breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper.

And he lived happily ever after, till the end of his days.

The End

The Way We Do Things, Part II

For Renee :)

Four years ago this evening I married Jeremy. And a week later we moved into our new townhouse, unpacked and unwrapped all our gifts, and set about making the house a home. We arranged and rearranged furniture, went shopping for curtains and lamps, and did all sorts of husband-wifey newlywed new-house type things.

Oh and random fact. I must sleep on whatever side of the bed is furthest from a window and closest to either the bathroom or the nearest light switch. Thinking back, this has been the case in 99 % of rooms I've slept in for as far back as I can remember, unless my sister claimed the side I wanted first, in which case I rarely slept as well as I would have had I slept on the side I wanted.

And second random fact, I like to color code things. Like notebooks and clothes and stuff. Most people would call that organization I guess. I do it because 1. things usually look better that way, and 2. I don't like labeling stuff. Shocker I know. I keep the "labels" in my head. Like when I was homeschooled--and I actually wrote a paper on this in college--Our curriculum was 5 subjects in 5 colors. Blue = science, red = math, green =social studies, purple = Bible, yellow = language arts. For years afterward, through middle school and into high school, I organized by subject materials (folders, notebooks) by these colors. And I have never liked the color red. Ever. Coincidence? I think not!

When I started teaching at Stepping Stones, I went to Staples and bought clear take-home folders to match the cubby color for each child. This only worked for the first 5 since we only used 5 different paint colors, but for the 6th child I picked purple to go with her yellow cubby because purple is opposite yellow on the color wheel and therefore complimentary. However, when the 7th, 8th, and 9th child joined our class, I didn't get around to purchasing new folders since it was so close to the end of the year. In the fall, however, they will also have folders that match their cubbies and their weekly file will also be color coded to match their folders which match their cubbies. Cause I love color.

Back to the newlywed story.

Anyway, so it was my self-appointed task to set up my new kitchen exactly the way I wanted it. I think it's safe to say that newlyweds the world over either relish or dread this task of epic proportions. I dreaded it with relish. It was such a huge job, but oh the organizational possibilities! I finally worked out my system and went about filling in the cabinets. Glasses went on the top shelf above the dishwasher, plates went on the next 2 shelves below, balanced by size so it looked even (small to the left, large to the right on the middle shelf, then large to the left, small to the right on the bottom). My pretty mugs and African elephant collection went on the shelves above the sink, handles turned just so and elephants arranged tallest in the middle like a pyramid. My tea pot and tea cups went on the next shelf up, etc. Bowls and mugs went in the cabinet above the silverware drawer that held the forks and spoons. Mugs on the top shelf, entertaining pieces on the middle shelf, and bowls on the bottom. The big bowls stacked in the back corner and the smaller bowls in 2 stacks, one in the back, one in the middle front flanked with the extra matching mugs that didn't fit on the shelf above the sink. (The bowl cabinet is the area most often messed with by helpful people and "fixed" most repeatedly by me.) In the corner cabinets my mixing bowls and growing collection of Pampered Chef gadgets reign supreme, below on the counter is the Queen of the Kitchen my Kitchenaid mixer. Below that, in the lower corner shelf is the oversized things--the crock pot, quesadilla maker, cupcake pans, baking stones, panini maker, pots and pans, and ridiculously heavy things. Beside that, under the silverware drawers, is where the bakeware (cutting boards, my solitary non-stone baking pan (lol), and my cake pans), and appliances live (smoothie maker, blender, food processor). The large griddle takes up an entire shelf above them cause that's the only place it fits. Between the oven and the fridge, the cabinet above holds cookbooks and spices. Top shelf cookbooks, 2nd shelf sweet stuff for baking and decorating, bottom shelf duplicate and oversized bulk seasonings. Seasonings I use most frequently, of course, are in my spice turn-about on the counter with my 2 large cookbooks (ala Vicki Barb and Betty Crocker). Under that is the junk drawer (which pains me, but what can I do? It must exist), the dishcloths and oven mitts (though these love to travel down a drawer which will often put me in a tizzy), the dish towels are in the next to last drawer, and the bottom is the one with all important kitchen and house related papers (user manuals, bla bla bla). The thing to notice here is that the top shelves are arranged by USE (baking separate from cooking), and the bottoms are organized by SIZE (large towels below smaller cloths, tiny junk on top).

Finally, the silverware is arranged by size. Knives in a bamboo box next to the oversized items that don't belong in my tool turn-about in 1 drawer. Forks in another bamboo boxs, large ones facing up, small ones facing down, next to the box with spoons arranged the same way, with other misc. smaller items, like sugar spoons, spreaders, and serving spoons in the extra space (larger serving spoons and whisks parallel to the boxes and smaller items at the bottom perpendicular in their own space so they don't get "lost".

And that is the Way I Do Things in my kitchen. For the most part. I don't have the time or energy to explain how I fill the dishwasher and by now I hope I've gotten everyone laughing (or sighing) enough. :)

I'm taking requests for future blogs, just leave a comment here or on Facebook. :)

Thank you for reading and supporting my amusing little habit. :)