The "Dear Abby" column in the newspaper amuses me. On the rare occasion that someone asks something useful, I learn something. Every other time I wish I was Abby instead of Jeannie or whatever her name is. Because while "Abby" and I usually agree, I think she's often too vague, too politically correct, or just plain too cautious.
For example, today a woman wrote in asking whether or not she should be concerned that the guy she has a crush on at work showed her inappropriate pictures of himself on his phone. They do not have any type of relationship and it apparently had something to do with a conversation they were having.
!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her response: A slap on the guy's wrist calling him juvenile and a caution to the woman because of the guy's IMMATURITY.
My response: Girl, a guy at work is showing you inappropriate pictures of himself on his phone AT WORK. And you need ME to tell you this is a problem? Eww! Yes, you may like the guy, but how many other women do you think MAY have seen those pictures and do you REALLY want to be with a guy who has them on his PHONE? Ever thought that maybe pictures of YOU could end up on his phone, or worse?
And a few days ago "Lauren" writes to "Abby" complaining that she has to do chores around the house and her mom only pays her $3. She told her mom she was tired of being "her slave" and she wanted a raise. Mom said she'd talk it over with Lauren's dad.
Abby's response: If Dad is in charge of the money, go talk to him yourself.
My response: Honey, slaves don't get paid ANYTHING and I'll bet there are millions of kids--some who actually ARE child-laborers--who would love to trade places with you. If I was your mom I wouldn't pay you a cent until you learned something called gratitude. Second, you should learn now that when your mom says she'll talk to your dad about it, chances are good it means NO.
My NICE response: If you want more money for doing your chores, perhaps you should work out a deal with your parents. They'll pay you more and you will be responsible for contributing to your personal budget (clothes, electronics including cell phone if you have one, and expenses incurred while hanging out with your friends). The more they pay you, the more you contribute. What's that? $3 a week sounds fine to you now? Thought so.
The one that takes the cake though was the lady who told her neighbor kids to "come back later" on Halloween because they interrupted dinner. She got called by the mom and was chewed out for it. Abby made some kind of response about how some parents don't want their kids out after dark, or if it was too late on a school night or something, so have the candy basket ready anyway and don't fret about it.
My response: If you don't want dinner interrupted, DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR. When you are done, turn on your porch light.
I won't even start on the wedding etiquette ones. Oye.
Anyone else want to be Dear Abby? :)
