To Whom It May Concern:

I just wanted to let NBC know that the policy to only allow live feed and replay access to people who have cable providers is not only irritating, but illogical. If I had cable, why would I need to watch online? I have Comcast internet, but do not own a TV. Because I do not have a cable package for the nonexistent TV, I have no way of watching the Olympics in the comfort of my own home. Does this make me want to go buy a TV and get cable? No. Not for the once every 2 years I'd need it.

I was able to watch the ENTIRE Royal Wedding last April online via the BBC. They weren't the only ones providing the privilege either. Since NBC has the exclusive rights to showing the Olympics in the US, I would think you would want to reach a broader audience. Allowing paying internet customers a way to watch online would be a much more 21st century approach.

Sincerely,
Kristin Barb
Irate Comcast Customer




Posted this here until NBC actually allows Feedback on the Olympic website.

The Hobbit Part 3?

So apparently there's a rumour going around that Peter Jackson is delving into the Appendices for additional material...and possibly a third film to make The Hobbit duology into a trilogy. There's a good synopsis of this at www.theonering.net.

Personally, I think 2 Hobbit movies is plenty--An Unexpected Adventure and There & Back Again. HOWEVER, I will gladly find an overnight babysitter for my then-4 and 2 year olds in December 2014 if PJ does what I've been wanting him to do for YEARS...the BRIDGE MOVIE.

We--The Fans--are very aware that Jackson's movie rights only go so far. He does not have the rights to The Silmarillion, Unfinished Tales, etc, just LOTR and The Hobbit. So there are chunks of the Appendix that are "untouchable"...So there will be no Numenor, no Beleriand, no Seige of Angbad, no Beren & Luthien or Children of Hurin. I am patient.

We don't need to know who all the kings of Arnor and Gondor were either. Not immediately relevant to either story.

So we have to look at the Timeline Tolkien so thoughtfully provided to see what IS possible for a 3rd Hobbit or Bridge Movie.

What is or might already be in The Hobbit (from the Appendices, and either known from trailer or probably in flashback intro):
2770 III Smaug the Dragon descends on Erebor. Dale destroyed. Thror escapes with Thrain II and Thorin II.
2790 Thror slain by an Orc in Moria. Start of the War of the Dwarves and Orcs.
2845 Thrain is imprisoned in Dol Guldur.
2850 Gandalf enters Dol Guldur, finds Thrain, gets key to Erebor.
2851 White Council meets. Saruman begins search for The Ring.

Interestingly enough, all this happens before Bilbo is even born (2890). To further shock and awe, Gilraen THE MOTHER OF ARAGORN isn't born until 2907!

Jumping ahead for a second to follow the Timeline in order, this is what *I* think should be part of the Bridge Movie:
2933 Arathorn II slain, Gilraen takes Aragorn to Imladris. His ancestry is concealed and he is given the name Estel.

Now back to The Hobbit, which officially starts in 2941 with Thorin and Gandalf visiting Bilbo...The entirety of Bilbo's story takes 1 year, wrapping up in 2942.

Now back to what MIGHT be in a 3rd movie...

2944 Gollum goes in search of the ring thief!
2951 Elrond reveals Aragorn's true name and legacy. Insert the Tale of Aragorn and Arwen here.

2953 Last meeting of the White Council. Saruman lies about where he thinks the Ring is and starts fortifying Isengard.

2956 Aragorn and Gandalf meet.

2957-80 Aragorn's adventures in Rohan & Gondor under the alias Thorongil. (This is referenced in The Two Towers Extended Edition).

2980 Aragorn & Arwen plight their troth in Lothlorien.

Gollum meets Shelob

2989 Balin leaves Erebor and enters Moria.

2994: The dwarves awaken the Balrog.

3001: The Fellowship of the Ring storyline begins.


So in sum, I think there's enough content for a third film BUT it really doesn't fit under The Hobbit franchise title, even if you called it "The Hobbit: The White Council". Logically, the most content for a film would come from keeping the Ring a focus by including The Hunt for Gollum (Aragorn, Legolas, Gandalf, Rangers, Elves, oh my!)and The Tale of Aragorn & Arwen/Aragorn's undercover adventures. So Aragorn, not a hobbit, would be the main character. PJ would need to retain the White Council members, some of the dwarves, the Mirkwood/Rivendell elves, and Andy Serkis. He'd need to GET Liv Tyler, Viggo M, and some of his Lorien elves. He'd need to CAST Aragorn's parents, and the Gondor and Rohan parts.

So maybe I'll be getting a babysitter for a 5 and 3 year old???

The Jedi Way

This post is a slight deviation from my usual themes. I usually don't write a lot about interpretation of Scripture and I've NEVER written about anything Star Wars related. But I recently had two conversations with my brother-in-law, Josh, that showed a very interesting--and completely unintentional by the SW authors, I'm sure--parallel between living in God's grace and a Jedi's relationship with The Force.

Before I share parts of the conversation, I want to make my Disclaimer very clear:
* Jeremy, Josh, and I do not under any circumstances view the "Force" in the Star Wars universe as being in any way God-like. While the characters at times have experiences with it that remind us of Spiritual truths (like in this case), or it acts in ways that look like promptings of the Holy Spirit (ex: Jedi have the ability to react to things a few seconds before they happen and SW chars are famous for the line "I have a bad feeling about this."), we (like Tolkien) dislike allegory in most if not all forms and do not read fiction looking for ways to make it look or sound more "holy" (if that makes sense). As with every post, I love hearing feedback and welcome discussion. :)

Story background:

The Star Wars book "I, Jedi" tells the story of Corran Horn, a member of the new Jedi Order started and led by Luke Skywalker. He is finishing his training while also searching for his wife who has been kidnapped.

Luke has the difficult position as being the "Last Jedi" since most of them were wiped out by his father, Darth Vader, around the same time Luke was born (known as the Great Jedi Purge). Since most of the information about the Jedi--how they trained and details about their purpose--were lost with them and the destruction of their Temple and training facilities, Luke has had to essentially "start from scratch" by looking all over the known universe for people with "Force ability" and train them the way he was trained by his mentors Ben Kenobi (Obi Wan) and Yoda...both of whom died before they could tell him much about how to train others. Because of this, he's had to rely primarily on his own experience and the experiences of his first students to determine how the New Order will operate.

Three new Jedi stand out as the ones who tend to most often disagree with Luke and help him look at things from a different perspective: Corran, Kyp Durron, and Kyle Katarn. This particular book is about Corran, though Kyp plays a major role as well serving as a "foil" (drama term meaning opposite/opposing) to Corran.

Finally, a quick description of the terms "light side" and "dark side" that I will be using a lot. According to the viewpoint prevalent in this book, the Force has 2 sides. The "light" side is what the Jedi draw from, using it's power to help them help others. They essentially have "superpowers" which the Force provides the ability for them to do--things like run really really fast, leap tall buildings, split second reflexes, reading minds and influencing thoughts, minor healing abilities, making objects move, and making wise decisions based on "reading people". The "light side" cannot be used to harm others and decisions are encouraged when one "is at peace". The "dark side" of the Force is seen as the selfish, corrupt side. Mainly used by the Sith--the foil of the Jedi, example: Darth Vader--powers associated with it include choking even from great distances, lightning coming from your fingertips, killing for personal gain, windstorms caused by great anger, and so forth. It's fueled by passion, anger, & hate.

The Debate:
The main question Luke is struggling with, and that Corran helps him deal with in this book, is DOES A JEDI HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE DARK SIDE IN ORDER TO BECOME BETTER/MORE SECURE IN THE FORCE? The related question, and purpose of this blog post, is the spiritual question, DOES A CHRISTIAN HAVE TO SIN IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE GOD'S GRACE?


So here's where my blog actually begins. ;)

Jeremiah 17:9 is quoted often by Christians who believe that we are "sinners saved by grace". It says: "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it?" In Romans 11:32 Paul writes, "For God has committed them all to disobedience, that He might have mercy on all."

The verse in Romans actually started conversation #2 after church this morning, so I'll start there and work backwards. :)

I don't know about you, but there have been many times where I have heard people talk about how God has used past (now forgiven) sins to either grow them closer to God or give them insight into how to help another struggling person, Christian or not. It's quite true. God can use anything and everything to His glory. A verse often quoted to this purpose is Romans 8:28 "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God..." And 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

But to whom are these verses referring, Christians or those who do not yet know Him?

Now on the Jedi side of the discussion, Luke has seen what the dark side can do. His father used to be a talented and powerful Jedi Knight, Anakin Skywalker. He "fell to the dark side" due to a combination of his lust for power and his belief that he was not strong enough to do what he felt needed to be done...in his case saving the lives of his mother and wife. His fear of failure left him vulnerable to the whispered promises of Chancellor Palpatine who was a Sith in disguise. He offered Anakin unlimited power, but it resulted in his losing everything except that power. His wife died of a broken heart seeing the man he was becoming, he never got to know his 2 children and was their enemy the remainder of his life, and his body was permanently damaged and he spent the rest of his days part man-mostly machine. Luke himself has had to deal many times with his own anger and feelings of betrayal and he's seen several of his students fight similar battles, coming out scarred but generally stronger.

Luke also knows there is redemption. Darth Vader destroys the evil Emperor Palpatine, though the fight costs him his life. He spends his last minutes with Luke and is pictured later on standing with Yoda and Obi Wan, making it clear to the audience that he chose to come back to the light as he died.

Corran and Kyp both come into contact with the same Sith Lord, but each handles the experience differently. Kyp tries to use dark side power for what he sees as a greater good--similar to Vader's response to it--but ends up killing millions of people. Corran tries to find ways to destroy the Sith and, while tempted by the powers offered and the promise that they "will" help him save his wife, sticks to his resolve, though he is physically and mentally tortured.

I wish I had a copy of the book with me so I could find exact quotes. At the moment all I know for sure is what Josh told me and I hope I'm interpreting it accurately.

Basically, Corran demonstrated the ability of Jedi to come in contact with dark side forces, be tempted by what is offered, and to CHOOSE to not use those powers while simultaneously doing whatever possible to DEFEAT THE ENEMY. And he did it not just the one time, but several times throughout the book. When offered the chance to use his powers in anger or use abilities only associated with the dark side, Corran chose to find other ways to solve the problems, defeat his enemies, and rescue his wife (oops, spoiler! ha ha!)

Can you see where I'm going here?

Jeremiah 17:9 and Romans 11:32 were written ABOUT NON-CHRISTIANS. In Jeremiah, the Messiah had not yet come, so the hearts of the people had not been made clean by the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. In Romans, Paul is talking about all people. Since we are all "sons of Adam and daughters of Eve" we are all born into disobedience. (Job 5:7, "Yet man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward." Also a movie reference! 2 in one paragraph, this is so fun!) ;)

See how the message changes when Christians are the recipients (italics mine):
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the MERCIES of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, HOLY, ACCEPTABLE to God, which is your REASONABLE service. And DO NOT BE CONFORMED TO THIS WORLD,BUT BE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND, that you may prove what is that GOOD AND ACCEPTABLE AND PERFECT WILL of God...ABHOR WHAT IS EVIL, CLING TO WHAT IS GOOD." Romans 12:1-2;9.

And again in Romans, "Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren, that you also are FULL OF GOODNESS, filled with ALL KNOWLEDGE, ABLE also to admonish one another." (15:14)

And in Matthew:
"Therefore YOU SHALL BE PERFECT, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." (5:48)

And in the NIV: "BE PERFECT, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (In case there was confusion on interpretation, since the NKJV sounds future tense.)

There are tons of verses on God's grace, and it is often used along with mercy and contrasted with God's justice. Here's a bit of "KOp" (Kristin's opinion):

The Bible says "by grace you have been saved" and speaks often of God's graciousness in relation to forgiving our sins. His grace is also spoken of as the power of the Holy Spirit which enables Christians NOT to sin.

Mercy: Granting leniency...shielding from judgement...the very act of forgiveness is an act of mercy. God is merciful, so He forgives us when we sin...but He does not take away the consequences of that sin. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers is historical fiction version of the Biblical story of Hosea and Gomer...both of which are stories of GOD'S MERCY and His relentlessness in pursuing those stuck in the pit of sin.

Justice: What we deserve. God is a just God so He cannot turn a blind eye to sin. Justice is why there is Hell...We will all be judged according to our actions and if you have not accepted God's mercy and grace, then BECAUSE He is a just God, there is no other choice than eternal separation from Him.


The original questions of this incredibly looooong post were: DOES A JEDI HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE DARK SIDE IN ORDER TO BECOME BETTER/MORE SECURE IN THE FORCE? And: DOES A CHRISTIAN HAVE TO SIN IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE GOD'S GRACE?

I submit that the answer to both questions is NO. Luke learned, and later saw in action through the lives of some family members and other Jedi, that while there is redemption for those that do fall or dabble in the dark side, it is possible for a Jedi to be tempted, tested, and resist. The ones who fall and are redeemed are not necessarily going to be stronger and will struggle with the consequences of their actions for the rest of their lives. Those who are tempted and resist, while sometimes scarred by their experiences, are better and stronger for it. And some can go their whole lives living in the truth and not even consider the dark side's pull, never losing their optimism.

Now remember, I'm speaking of CHRISTIANS here. I'm not referring to sins committed BEFORE becoming a Christian...I'm speaking to the idea that Christians are still "sinners saved by grace" and the "all sin and fall short" verse applies. IT DOESN'T. As a Christian, we are living IN (some say UNDER) God's grace with the Holy Spirit in us. His grace and the power of the Holy Spirit give us the ABILITY to be tempted and NOT SIN. Being tempted =/= sinning. The sin is the ACT of disobedience, not the TEMPTATION to act. Matthew 26:14 and Mark 14:38 both tell Christians to be VIGILANT, to watch and pray, in order to avoid even being tempted, because "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak". So essentially, when we are living in the spirit, attune to God and in constant connection with Him, we should be able to spot temptation a mile off and avoid it. There is mercy and forgiveness when we mess up, but the New Testament makes it clear that messing up is to be the EXCEPTION NOT THE NORM. So a Christian living in God's grace can be doing so WITHOUT sinning, though the "grace covers a multitude of sins" when required.

I like picturing a path. It's not smooth by any means, but it's walkable. A fairly straight path from Start to Destination, though the trees along the way block our view of what's ahead and only reveals a small bit at a time. If the walker chooses to leave the path, Jesus can go and bring him back to it, but in the process the walker is going to get cut with briars, smacked in the head with tree branches, maybe sprayed by a skunk or have his ankle turned in a snake hole. He'll appreciate the path all the more, but he has a bunch of unpleasant experiences. Contrast to another walker who, while seeing similar temptations off the path (a stream of water, following an animal, the pleading of a friend to join them, some yummy berries), chooses instead to remain on the path. It's not paved by any means, there's still small holes and stones that require careful navigating and attention, and he might be hungry and thirsty along the way, but he eventually reaches the Destination sans the briars, thistles, skunks, snakes, etc etc etc. Both reach the destination. Both are aware and thankful of God's grace. But I'd much rather be the second walker, wouldn't you?

This post is in honor of my upcoming 5th wedding anniversary. We were married on Saturday, June 2, 2007 and the best way I can describe our relationship is through song...

I wish I could figure out how to get these links to actually work, but I'm not that techie. :P If you actually need to hear the song, just copy/paste into YouTube and it should play. :)
Enjoy!

September 2003-May 2005 "Friends". Even though we attended the same church since 1995, because of the 4 year age difference we really didn't get to know each other until my freshman year of college. Jeremy joined the leadership team for our youth ministry, which I was already a fixture of, and we started hanging out with the same group of friends...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esJPVkJDgAU


June-August 2005 “I Won’t Say...”. I liked him. My family knew I liked him. My friends all knew I liked him. The first time I heard this song I had to laugh because it sounded so much like my conversations with Jodi, Stephanie, and Rachell!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_bEWXs_FX4

September-December 2005 “First Kiss”. This song pretty much sums up our first few months together. It constantly amazes me how God worked out things in both of our lives to bring us together and knit our hearts and souls into one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USUX9NUYvDI

January-June 2006 “When You Say You Love Me”. Jeremy once wrote out the lyrics of this song for me. I think of it as "Our Song for 2006".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS3MIWuMRhQ

July 2006-May 2007 Engaged! Jeremy asked Tuesday, July 18th, by the river in Wildwood Park (Bridgewater) after I followed a trail of roses. We celebrated with our families at Bravos afterwards. I can't say I immediately jumped into planning the wedding--I had already been planning it since January!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjDojEOiMcE

June 2007 Wedding! This song was played during the lighting of the Unity candles. Another one of "our songs".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hjyplGf_Og

July-Dec 2007 Newlyweds!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9J3Wgt8QWI

Here are some favorite songs for the last four years. Things don't always go the way you plan or expect, but God's plans are bigger and always better, even if we can't see how in the moment.

2008 "For the Love of a Princess" (Braveheart)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzwEfmHt7lQ

2009 "Come What May" (Moulin Rouge)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvJpJl04cAI&feature=related

2010 "The Kiss" (Last of the Mohicans)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dofZpPjn9j0&feature=related

2011 "Only You" (The Young Victoria)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgWWQe57UBU

Let Me Be a Woman!!!

I generally shy away from writing anything remotely political in this blog, since the purpose of it is more musings and the fancy-free. However, since this particular "musing" seems to transcend the political--it is emotional, physical, political, even spiritual--I'm giving myself permission. I hope to share my heart, not start arguments, so this is not intended as "fuel for the fire" should you happen to disagree. I do hope, disagree or not, that you'll read to the end and give this a fair hearing. This is about who I am as a woman. I hope it resonates with your woman heart as well (or at least enlightens you if you happen to be a rare male reader). :)

I've just finished Lisa Bevere's "Lioness Arising: Wake Up and Change Your World". In it are quotes like this:

"If there ever comes a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, it will be a force such as the world has never known." (Matthew Arnold, 19th century British poet and philosopher)

"Are we ready to be used for more than decoration? Are we ready to hold up the roof of God's house?" (Lisa Bevere, referencing Psalm 144:12 ("That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth, that our daughters may be as pillars, sculpted in the palace style" (NKJV).

Add to this (and here comes the political) the whole "women's health" debacle and the increased involvement of the government in healthcare and life in general and the thought came to me that I FEEL MORE RESTRICTED AS A WOMAN BY POLITICAL GROUPS THAN IN THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY. Most of you may say "Well, sure"-- but who does pop culture accuse of "restricting" and "silencing" women? The Church. Hence my point and why I'm writing this.

Let me explain. In Christ, and in my church family, I am free to decide what I want to do and who I want to be, so long as my choices line up with the Word. I can be a housewife. I can have a career. I can have both or neither. I can be happily married. I can have children. I gave up the ability to do neither, but other single women still have those options. My husband and I can make decisions for our family, and I provide input and support for him while he provides support and spiritual covering for me. I can figure out the necessary balance of all of the above, and live a well-ordered, productive, and satisfying life.

According to a majority of women's groups, all of which simply can't help being political in some way or another, I am a "woman" if:
--I am pro-choice
--I am a career woman
--I am equal to my husband in all things, or blissfully single
--I support moderates & liberals for political office because they are the only ones who care about "women's health issues"
--The issue of "women's health" (aka who pays for contraception and abortion) trumps concerns for the economy in presidential primaries (this was in the news just this morning!)

If I do not agree with those things, I am a "disappointment". And I'm not the least bit sorry to disappoint. They may want to appear strong in their fight to be independent and self-reliant, but that's not the kind of strength I want to have. In Romans 15, verse 2, Paul says "Strength is for SERVICE, not STATUS. Each of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, 'How can I help?'"

"Women's health" is indeed a very important topic, but not in the areas that these women's groups are focused. Why not the health of mothers overseas who still DIE in childbirth? Or the countless women fighting against cancer, heart disease, and other silent killers? What about the young women being sold into prostitution? Aren't those issues much more about women's health than who pays for your pills and assists financially in killing your unwanted children?

Contrary to popular opinion, the Bible speaks highly of women, their influence, and abilities. Eve, Sarah, Tamar, Abigail, Rahab, Hannah, Ruth, Esther, pretty much any woman named Mary, Jael of the Tent Peg, Deborah, Elizabeth, the woman with the alabaster box of perfume. All women with considerable influence and strength, but none of them used it for their own gain. Yet they all were rewarded, one way or another. Paul, who often gets a bad rap for being "anti woman" often references specific women and their influence on the church, as well as speaking to men and women TOGETHER, not excluding women from positions of leadership and authority as some think (I Timothy 3:1-13).

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul writes:
"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care, then do me a favor: AGREE with each other, LOVE each other, be DEEP SPIRITED FRIENDS. Don't( push your way to the front, don't sweet-talk your way to the top, but put yourself aside and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage, Forget yourself long enough to lend a helping hand." (2:1-4)

Women right now are screaming out of their pain. But screaming in pain is not an answer, it's a reaction. As women, we need to bring LIFE from and through the pain, bringing answers and solutions to the problems. When we lift our voices, we should take our cue from the lioness. When a lioness roars she does it for specific reasons, and she never roars alone, she roars with her sisters. She roars to protect the young--Not just her own, but ALL the young in her pride. She roars to validate relationships within the pride (with her sisters and in response to the male lion--declaring allegiances). And she roars to call in the lost and wandering cubs. She will roar occasionally to intimidate her prey, but only after the ambush is in place.

So looking back to the quote I started with, when will we as women rise up for the good of MANKIND and not just ourselves? When will be look to the needs of others, especially those with no voice of their own? When will be put the life and needs of others ahead of our own? Imagine what this world--this country--would be like if women stood up united against human trafficking, abortion, child abandonment and abuse, hunger, poverty, homelessness, and more. Government subsidies, departments, and agencies don't solve these problems, but people can.

So for me, I refuse to let my identity as a woman be dictated to me by the media, a political group or party, or any type of "women's" organization. Their definitions only bring more oppression. I'm choosing to stand in my identity as a woman, defined by God as being "fearfully and wonderfully made", educated and able to think for myself and make knowledgeable decisions, and content in the knowledge that I can be a homemaker, a stay-at-home-mom, and a career woman without finding my honor or identity in any of them. I am not wasting my talents by being home with my children. I am not a doormat because I respect my husband and he has the final say. I am not a disappointment to all women-kind because I am pro-life, Republican, and am firmly against the government mandating someone else pay for the birth control I may or may not choose to take. I am a woman, and you may hear me roar, but it is not a roar of conceit and selfish disdain for the feelings of others...It is a roar that I hope will soon be echoed by my sisters as we declare our allegiance to God, our determination to protect ALL young from death and destruction, and to rescue the young and wandering from harm.

Ezekiel 19:2.

I will raise up the sons to be strong and mighty. I will be an ASSET to my husband and son, to my fathers and brothers. I will position the daughters well, with honour and grace. I will lift all who are fearful, weak, or struggling. I will bring the goodness and hold up the roof of God's house as pillar of strength, worth, dignity, and beauty.

Because I am a woman. I am a bringer of LIFE.

Fall Fashion 2011

For those of you who have known me the longest and the best, you know that Fall is not my favorite season. So there are really only 3 things I enjoy about the weeks between <3 summer <3 and my least of all favorite season. (The only good part about winter is Christmas and the occasional snow day.)

Those 3 enjoyable things are:
1. JMU/HHS football season. Yay for something to listen to on Friday and Saturday nights! I couldn't care less about the NFL until the Super Bowl comes around, and only then if I team I remotely care about is in it. But, oh, give me some high school and college rivalry games and I am a happy woman.

2. The food. Apples, pumpkins, Thanksgiving...Lovin' the comfort foods of autumn!

3. 3/4 sleeves. Seriously. I ADORE 3/4 sleeves. They are seriously the most comfortable and most flattering sleeve on the planet. Wear them down when it's a little nippy, or roll the sleeves up on days like today where you want to scream at the Heavens "MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!!!!!!" (PS-I hate humidity. Passionately.)

If you pay any attention whatsoever to fashion, or at least glance at magazines as you walk buy them at the store, you know that one of the most discussed fashion terms right now is "the Kate effect". I am a believer and supporter of said "effect" and though I am in no way a "copyKat" (seriously, that's what they're called!) I am very pleased with the style changes I've seen over the summer and into the fall. It isn't so much what you may see on the fall runways--high fashion, especially in NY tends to be more avante garde (term used for fashion "ahead of it's time", "innovative", "experimental"...what I prefer to call "icky")--but it is what you'll see thumbing through David's Bridal catalogs, women's home and fashion magazines, and clothing companies like NY&Co, Coldwater Creek, Newport News, and the like.

Now for those who have no clue what that last paragraph is about, let me briefly explain. The "Kate effect" is what the media and fashion industry are calling the influence of the Duchess of Cambridge (the former Kate Middleton). Since her engagement to Prince William she has singlehandedly caused the sell-out of several dress styles, which now have 1 word names "the Shola", "the Issa", etc. The results of the "Kate effect" include: the rise in popularity of any knee length short sleeved dress that even slightly resembles one worn by Kate, and an increased interest in hats, fascinators, trench coats, nude pumps, and even pantyhose. The broader effect is simply this: it is now fashionable for my generation to wear modest hemlines and necklines, ladylike shoes and coats, and elegant accessories.

So here are some of the trends I've noticed while shopping at my favorite stores--Ross & TJ Maxx--and browsing at my favorite "if I had money to spend on more expensive stores" stores (NY&Co, Newport News, Coldwater Creek, etc).

1. Color. Bold and bright. I'm seeing a lot of bright pink, aqua, coral, and purple. I don't wear a lot of bright colors, but I did add a bright pink tee and several purple pieces to my closet this fall.

My favorite part of this trend? PURPLE! :)

2. Lace. This trend has been increasingly popular over the last year or so, which is why so many of us were correct in predicting that Kate's wedding dress would be lacy. Thankfully that look is becoming increasingly more popular in the wedding industry, something I really wish would have been available in '07. Some of the "lace look" though is incredibly fake. Lace prints? Um, no thanks. I don't want the LOOK of lace, I want LACE.

3. White. Black & white together has been a popular trend over the years, but this season has shown an increase in simply white. Little White Dresses (LWDs) are easier to find these days and I think it's darling, especially the ones with the white lace. And while I can say confidently that Kate has definitely increased the popularity of white clothes--She once stated that if she had a favorite color she guessed it was white, and she certainly wears a lot of it--but the popularity of white dresses can actually be attributed more towards her sis Pippa, who singlehandedly made white bridesmaids dresses the "It Thing" for Summer 2011. (Though technically I guess you'd have to give Kate most of the credit for that too since it was her wedding and therefore her fashion decisions. Pippa just wore it really well.)

Anyway, I love this trend, BUT REMEMBER: YOU STILL CAN'T WEAR THEM TO WEDDINGS PEOPLE!!!!

4. Florals and animal prints. This is one trend that 1. I'm not that big of a fan of, and 2. Does not fit under the "Kate effect" umbrella. So there really isn't much to say except if you like bold floral prints or animal prints, wear them to your heart's content just don't wear more than 1 print at a time. Pair your 1 "loud" dress, shirt, skirt, or accessory and wear it with some solids in a complimentary color or a neutral. :)

5. Gray is the new black. While there is still quite a bit of black out there, and always will be, gray is the favorite neutral this season. It's softer and usually more flattering than black, and pairs wonderfully with the pinks, purples, and blues. I prefer brown/khaki with the warmer corals, peaches, etc.

Since I love gray, I am very glad to see so much of it in the stores. At Ross a few weeks ago I added a 3/4 dark gray shirt and a short sleeve lighter gray shirt to my collection. I also have 2 pairs of gray dress pants and a gray suit I never wear since my 2 jobs are not exactly suit-type careers. ;)

6. Ruffles. Love love love! The little girl in me can't get enough. Ruffled edges on cardigans, ruffled hems on trench coats, ruffled shirt collars...It's an added feminine touch. <3

7. Skirts. Pencil skirts, a-lines, "midi" skirts, maxi skirts...The only thing to say here is thank heaven for longer hemlines. :)

For pictures of some of the looks I'm talking about, visit this link:
http://pinterest.com/kbarb/my-style

Let me know other fashion trends you see that you love, hate, or think are silly...And let me know which of the ones I mentioned you love (or hate)! Also, if you have a particular fashion topic you'd like me to address in my next fashion-related blog. I have no idea from post to post if I'll be talking fashion, parenting, or what so it's nice to get ideas. :)

How to Be a Good Wedding Guest

I am constantly amazed at the number of people who simply don't know how to behave at weddings these days. I'm sure I have countless friends who--as brides, guests, ushers, pastors, and so forth--could tell a number of stories on guests. I know I would hate to be the guest that the bridal party remembers for years to come because of a faux pas (like Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie for there infamous hats), so I'm writing this blog to share some tips. Hopefully when you read this you'll be relieved since you already know and put into practice these, but in the rare case that you find out something--gasp!--You'll know better next time. Here's to being wedding guests that future brides, grooms, ushers, and wedding coordinators will love to have on the special day! :)

Tip #1: Know what to wear. I've already covered this on a past blog, so check that one out if you have questions. Generally, think about location, time of day, and the formality of the invitation. It's always better to be over-dressed than not.

Tip #2: Always enter the church or ceremony location through the main entrance. Side entrances may or may not be locked, but just because it's unlocked doesn't mean you should use it. The main entrance will have the guest book, programs, and ushers to seat you. From an ushers perspective (thanks Josh & Jeremy Barb), guests who seat themselves and enter from other directions only mess things up for the small number of guys responsible for making sure everyone gets into the right spots. So enter through the main entrance and wait for an usher to show you where to sit.

Tip #3: Going along with #2, if a wedding begins at 4, do NOT show up AT 4 or AFTER 4. You won't be allowed to be seated and you'll only be in the way of the wedding party. Brides and coordinators will not love you for this. Plan ahead and arrive 10-20 minutes before. This will give you time to sign in and be seated before the ceremony begins. Arriving too early will leave you standing around as last minute details are being arranged and--often--pictures are wrapping up, so do not arrive more than 30 minutes ahead of time unless requested.

Tip #4: It's generally frowned at to take pictures from your seat during the ceremony. If you must, make sure the camera flash is off and your camera doesn't make a loud noise.

Tip #5: This is a favorite tip of brides everywhere. Do NOT bring uninvited guests with you. The invitation tells you who is invited and only those people may attend. If the invitation says Mr. and Mrs. Jeremy Barb & Aedan, I know that children are welcome. If the invitation does not include my child's name, I find a babysitter and enjoy! If you are not married your invitation may or may not include "and Guest". If it does, invite your girlfriend, boyfriend, or best friend to come along. If it doesn't, there is probably a space issue at either the ceremony location or the reception and your bringing a guest could leave him or her without a seat-or worse, take the seat of someone who WAS invited. So pay attention to that invitation!

From The Knot: "In one poll of Knot brides, nearly half said that at least one guest had responded for someone who wasn't invited." <--Why it's a big deal to follow Tip #5!!!

Tip #6: RSVP as soon as possible. The invitation usually has a date on it, but the sooner you RSVP the more time the bride has to get final things worked out with the caterer, etc. In addition, if you discover you need to cancel, let her know ASAP so that she has the opportunity to either scale down or invite someone else who she couldn't invite before.

Tip #7: This goes back to clothes, but I feel it must be reiterated because people JUST DON'T GET IT! While black is becoming more acceptable, especially at evening and/or formal weddings, WHITE IS STILL A NO-NO. I saw a lady at a wedding I was at recently wearing a cream skirt suit. She looked lovely, but I'm sure more guests than I were shaking our heads at her from behind our punch cups. DO-NOT-WEAR-WHITE-TO-A-WEDDING. Having white on your outfit is fine, be it stripes, polka dots, flowers, etc, but NOT SOLID WHITE. And white includes all shades of cream and ivory too. Just don't do it!!!

Tip #8: After the wedding, follow the directions of the officiant and/or coordinator and go to the reception area. For many couples, not all the pictures--if any--have been done ahead of time and the sooner the area empties the sooner they can get the pictures done and head over to the reception themselves. Stick around only if asked (unless an extended family picture is planned, usually only grandparents, parents, and siblings need to stay close). Wedding coordinators and photographers can get quickly irritated by others snapping pictures, getting in the way of the photographer, or having loud conversations while they are trying to get their jobs done and get the happy couple to their party.

Tip #9: More often than not, the gift table will be at the reception area. If possible, leave your gift in the car until the reception. It's less work for you and for the groomsmen or other friends who would be responsible for moving them all later anyway.

Tip #10: Keep an eye on your children, or get a babysitter. If children are welcome to attend, some couples provide some form of childcare during the reception, but during the ceremony they are expected to be under the supervision of their parents. Running, messing with decorations, loud crying or talking during the ceremony...These are all reasons why many brides shudder at the thought of even inviting children. If you have children old enough to sit quietly for 30-45 minutes, keep their hands to themselves, and not try to serve themselves cake and food from the buffet line before invited to, no worries. If you're not sure...Play it safe and leave them at home. If you're from out of town, see if you can work out with other friends or family to find a neighbor or family friend who would be willing to watch a group of children during the wedding. Check with the bride or groom's parents about the possibility of having a room available during the ceremony for childcare if you provide the babysitter.

Your job as a wedding guest is to help celebrate the happy day. Do your best to always "do what you would have others do to you", and help make the day as special for the newlyweds as you can.

Have fun!